PoetsQuill Message Board logo

PoetsQuill Message Board

» Go to PoetsQuill

Afterlife?

PoetsQuill Message Board » Post Your Poetry » Afterlife?
Ben Grader

Junior Member


Total Posts: 60
Joined: Sun Oct 24, 2004 11:24 am
Link to this post Reply To This
Is there afterlife
shall I pass to higher things
will all cease to be.

Someday I will know
but knowing will be no good.
Then I will not care.

Born and bred a country yokel
Back to top
Posted: Thu Jan 20, 2005 6:14 pm Report this post to a moderator
Lerins

Junior Member


Total Posts: 32
Joined: Sat Aug 14, 2004 8:39 am
Link to this post Reply To This
It's short and to the point, which for poetry, isn't always good, but this does it well. The only criticism I have would be to add question marks to the lines in the first stanza. I had to read through it two or three times to figure out that each line was a seperate thought.
Back to top
Posted: Thu Jul 14, 2005 7:41 pm Report this post to a moderator
Phil Team member

On top of the world


Total Posts: 87
Joined: Sun Jan 25, 2004 5:00 pm
Link to this post Visit homepage for Phil Send an AOL Instant Message to Phil Send an ICQ Instant Message to Phil Reply To This
Well, it is a double haiku, which means it supposed to be short; being to the point is optional, but generally works well for the form.
I really like this, as it's sort of related to some things I've spent time trying to figure out (mostly, the value of life and things of that nature). I agree about the question marks, but it's a rather minor thing.
Back to top
Posted: Fri Jul 15, 2005 7:09 pm Report this post to a moderator
Ben Grader

Junior Member


Total Posts: 60
Joined: Sun Oct 24, 2004 11:24 am
Link to this post Reply To This
Thanks for the comments, Yes I agree I should have put in ?s but I wanted the first stanza to be read as one long question. The reason I left it was to keep the standard Haiku form.
Born and bred a country yokel
Back to top
Posted: Fri Sep 02, 2005 10:55 am Report this post to a moderator
Bluesy Socrateaser

Veteran Member


Total Posts: 225
Joined: Thu Feb 26, 2009 6:14 am
Link to this post Reply To This
QuoteSomeday I will know
but knowing will be no good.
Then I will not care.


Thinking singularly, you may be right.
Consciousness itself however may have other plans, and it won't need a tired old body or a fresh, youthful expiree to help it decide.

Ever the optimist here.
Ever the romantic over there.

...Just being Bluesy
Back to top
Posted: Mon Mar 02, 2009 9:39 am Report this post to a moderator
PoetsQuill Message Board » Post Your Poetry
Sent To A Friend Printable Version